btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
