There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
