he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you didnt know i had herpes?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
