Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
