We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
