you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
whose parrot is this?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
