lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
