you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
