why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I will be naked everywhere
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
