i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Can I color on your dick again?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
