I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
