I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
