I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
