so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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