forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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