i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
