you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
