Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
