I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
