we're blogging at a bar
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
