just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
