so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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