OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
