just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
