this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
