i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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