its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
