Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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