I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
