Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
