I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
