Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
