Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
