In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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