My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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