we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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