so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
