Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
