can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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