um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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