i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
