he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
