He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
