yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
