I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
