i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
