Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize