I puked a lego.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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