she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
