And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
