A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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