Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My penis needs a shock collar
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
